Since everyone's doing it....

...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?

This is a lyrics entry. The lyrics are to a song on Ren and Stimpy. The song can be found http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z5J5AxS9sA (I'm too lazy to do all the linking. It's late and I haven't slept in two days.)

Oh, and try to watch the video while under the influence of some kind of drug or alcohol. Trust me. Here are the lyrics:

Stimpy's Bellybutton Song

Rainbow cinnamon gumdrop
Lemonade purple people
Hour of plastic mystery

Dayglo bubblegum porkchop
Lilac lady will go
Down in history

Climb inside my world
Climb inside my
Belly button beanbag plastic world

Bean cheese bellbottom mind games
Pig pen Henry drinks his
Prune juice every day

Nighlight businessman snowflake
Rubberman bouncing down a
Mushroom gravy highway

Climb inside my world
Climb inside my
Belly button beanbag plastic world

Saffron teabag pierogie
Parsley panda has a
Pepperoni pocket comb

Pipe bag dripped with lasagna
Meatloaf monkey drives a
Moonbeam motorhome

Climb inside my world
Climb inside my
Belly button beanbag plastic world



This is what we watched as kids. No wonder we are the way we are...

Not really all that much to say.

This week we're back to having Kershner as a screenwriting prof. He's the guy who directed The Empire Strikes Back. And Robocop 2...

Here'd the problem. We had him for two weeks before he left and he told us he didn't want a screenplay in screenplay format. He wanted more of a story. Ok... That's not really screenwriting, then, is it? I can write you a novel, that's what I do, but whatever you want. So then we got Coleman. She wrote Full Frontal and Bubble. She took over the class for many weeks and decided that we WERE going to write a screenplay in screenplay format. So now we each have at least a forty page screenplay and now Kershner's going to come back and we are going to have exactly what he didn't want.

Wednesday will be fuuuuun.

My other class just started the fiction half of the semester. I am pleased about that. I'm more comfortable in fiction than in non-fiction.

NaNoWriMo starts soon and everyone should participate. National Novel Writing Month. You have one month to write a 50,000 word novel. I've done it for two years, but the closest I got was 32,000 last year. This year I'm going to do it. Or at LEAST get to 40,000.

Love life = zero, let's just get that out there.

I really am starting to enjoy Cali. The weather especially. You East Coast suckers are getting a call from Venice Beach in February. Gonna sit on the sad in the sun and go through my phonebook calling each of you and making you guess where I am.

Ok, I think I'm going to go back to bed, snuggle under the covers and do some hardcore reading.
Ta for now!

I am HOME!!!

It's bloody COLD!

And my time zones are all screwed up now.





That's all.

This is an entry dedicated to my day. It was not a good day. There will be alot of complaining, I think, though I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Just to warn you.

Today started out just fine. I woke up. I sat in bed for a bit. I went to the gym downstairs for about two hours. Came back upstairs. Took a shower. Played some EQ2 (because I'm a dork). Then I had some errands to run.

The Errands of DOOM, as it turns out.

First I needed to get to the mall. I went to the Beverly Center instead of the Grove for a change of pace. I had to go to Macy's to get some of my Benefit stuff. I needed more face cream and a tube of jiggle gel. I love that stuff. So I did that. Then I went to Banana Republic because my ass has shrunk and I needed new pants. Got some jeans a a pair of sweatpants that look swank. Hadn't had anything to eat yet, so I went to the food court and got a burger and a pepsi. Made me feel bloated. Then I left. I had two more stopes to make. One to the Rite Aid to pick up my birth control and the second to the Ralph's near me so I could have something to eat tonight. I failed to get past the first place.

Got to Rite Aid, parked my car, got my birth control: NOOOOOO problem. Now comes the "DOOM" part of the "Errands of DOOM"

Get in my car. Push the power button. Car goes on HALFWAY. Halfway ain't gonna get me home, let alone to Ralph's, let alone a foot in any direction. So, feeling slightly apprehensive, I push the button again, thinking that I perhaps hadn't held it long enough. Ah, I think to myself, here it comes. It's all comeing on just like it sh... shit.

Every warning light POSSIBLE on that car except that "door open" light came on. The engine would not start. The car would not go. I thought maybe if I turn it off and start again.... I thought this fifteen times before I realized it just wasn't going to happen. So I pull out my trusty cell phone and even trustier AAA card and start dialing... what ho? Low battery? Fuck me in the arse with a cucumber. Had enough juice to call AAA and get them to send out a tow truck. Next problem:

The Toyota dealership closes as five. It is twenty to five. So, my car (being sad that it was the cause of my stress) found the number to the dealership and I called them and asked what I should do. They said to leave the car in their back lot, leave the key in a little envelop thing, and leave the lot until Monday. MONDAY! Ok, fine. Bastards. The tow truck arrives. Next problem:

The guy had to tow my car from the front. There was a car parked in the space in front of mine. So the guy was nice enough to go into the Rite Aid and have them ask over the speaker system if the person of persons driving the so and so with licence number whatever it was would kindly move their car to make room for the tow truck. No answer. NO ONE responded. So ten minutes later, we're just sitting there waiting and these two old, crotchity, really fucking bitchy looking old people come out and take their sweet ass old time getting into their OLD ASS Lincoln with the bad puke green paint job, glaring at me the whole time. KARMA, old people. It's coming to get you. Next problem:

Got to the dealership, nice tow guy leaves, I leave the key... then realize that I have no car with which to get home. Wasn't wearing walking shoes at ALL for the nice two and a half mile hike back to my place (my feet are covered in sore patches). I was wearing jeans that were too big for me and kept threatening to slide off my ass. I start trudging home. I'm almost there. ALMOST THERE and a crazy man starts babbling at me. I ignore him. He follows me. For three blocks. Three blocks is a long way in Hollywood. Finally, I threaten bodily harm, he pushes me into a puddle on the side of the road, and runs away. So now my sore feet are COVERED in disgusting LA street sludge and I still have a few blocks to go. The only other thing that happened was a balloon man trying to give me a baloon poodle he had made. I didn't want a poodle. I wanted a car. He did not make me a car. So I left.

Now I am home. I am going to shower.
That was my day. The end.

This week has been crazy-like. I had more work to do this week than I ever had in college and I'm taking half the number of classes. I had my first Academy Series class on Tuesday. I had a bunch of work due in my Screenwriting class on Wednesday (including the first ten pages of my script, which is poopy) and I hadn't really come close to finishing it by Tuesday. tuesday was, of course, the only night I went out with people. Hahaha. But it all worked out and I got it all done. This week is a little lighter and the WeHo book fair is on Sunday, which I am very excited about. My Thursday class this week (Survey) was really cool. We had a guest speaker because our prof was out of town. His name is Brad Listi and he's a USC MPW graduate who just had his book (Attention. Deficit. Disorder) published. He told us all the practical stuff about getting an agent and all that goes into getting a book published. He, more than anything, inspired me to really start writing. Which... adds more work onto me. But technically, that's already part of my work. Because we're all supposed to be writing SOMETHING every day.

So now I am watching my life slowly fade away. My new friends are the flickering cursor is Word and anything with caffene (which does not aid my insomnia...) Ah, well. I sure hope it'll all be worth it. (Though, from what Listi was saying, my life as a writer is going to be a bipolar living hell. Oh goody.) Ta for now!

I set my smoke alarm off. Again.

All I did was make muffins. Yummy happy chocolate chip muffins. They had just a touch of cocoa powder in them and three kinds of chips: semi-sweet, milk, and butterscotch. PLUS they have white and brown sugar sprinkled and baked on top to make them crunchy and sweet and perfect.

They did not burn. My smoke alarm drops acid. There was no smoke and it was loud and ruined my muffin experience.

It's all good, though. Two people out here have birthdays soon and they get baked goods. Pretty pretty cakes make me happy. I will make one with chocolate bees and it will be good.

If the smoke alarm goes off one more time, I'm going to smoosh it.

Ta for now.

What's been going on in my life lately. Yesterday was Wednesday. Yup. I have class on Wednesday. The guy who teaches this class is the guy who directed The Empire Strikes Back. Last week, he made a girl cry. But he isn't back for another seven weeks because ,even though he apparently said he's retired, he's directing some Indian fairy taile movie that he wrote. so he will be in India for much of the semester. Now we have a nice and encouraging lady. She's a little hippie dippy, which is what I've gotten used to, so that's nice. She wrote Full Frontal. And here's a comforting thought for me: I'm not the worst in the class. I mean... a lot of people have these really great and artistic ideas for what they're doing, but then there's this kid who's an absolute mess. And he annoys me. A lot.

I think I might be one of the youngest.

Let's see.... what else? I have my other class today, but it's not really a class today. Today is the Festival of Writers at USC, so our class is going to that and there is wine and cheese and then we are required to write up an article about the event. I hate non-fiction. But wine and cheese are cool. I miss Eurotheatre.

Chris will be arriving in the city tomorrow.

I have ten pages of a screenplay to write, in screenplay format, by next week. A GUH! Plus my other class starts next week, so I'll have all three. And I'm still trying to find a job, though I may have found people to pay me to be an extra. It's actually pretty decent pay, too.

My father came in this past weekend. THAT was a disaster. He is such a fucking asshole. He also must be an idiot, too, for not being able to SEE that he's an asshole. One would think that, after SOOOO many years of people leaving you and TELLING you that you're an asshole, you would realize that there's something wrong with YOU, not them. He's been telling my mum and me for a few years now that he's "changed". What total BULLSHIT. When he was here last he proved that to be an all out lie. He tried to flip my dining room table and called me fat. He also threatened to stop paying for my rent and tuition and budget. He did that again this weekend. That's what my relationship with him revolves around: his money. He thinks it solves everything. We have a fight? He buys me something. He wants to hurt me? He threatens to cut support. But the thing is, that doesn't really hurt me. At all. And this time, I just couldn't help laughing in his face. Oops. But he totally deserved it. I mean, in his twisted mind, everything is my fault. He pretty much just out and told me that I was worthless since I couldn't find a job. And since then, the only thing I've heard from him is an e-mail he forwarded to me that let him know he was in this year's Best Lawyers in America thing. Yippee? What the hell do I care? You're still an asshole.

ANYway, I best go get showered for the thing tonight. Ta for now.

Had to update, if only to show off one of my new icons.

I wanna be a mongoose.

Anyway, I just watched Drop Dead Fred, a movie I hadn't seen in AGES. It's actually really sad. I doubt all that many of you have seen it, but it's about this poor little kid who's mother is an absolute BITCH (actually says to her daughter towards the end of the movie that is was the kid's fault that her dad left.) Kid only has one friend and it's her imaginary friend, Drop Dead Fred. He's always getting her into trouble and they do all sorts of fun and destructive things. I never really had an imaginary friend. I remember the first shrick I had, Dr. Bucktaul (I KNOw I'm spelling that wrong) asked me once if I had one. Totally made one up on the spot. His name was Jack and he was a fox. So, since playing with NOTHING was more fun that interacting with this woman, I just played with "Jake" for many of our sessions. "Oh, look! Now Jake's crawling all through my jacket. What a naughty fox!" etc. That got old, though. So them we started playing with play dough. How this was going to help her figure out my poor psyche, apparently so shattered by my parents divorce (uh... no), I have no idea, but play dough it was. Until I made the grim reaper. Then it was time to switch to a new game. This woman must've been a masochist of something because she gave me a foam bat and told me to hit her. So I did. I think it was after that session that I came home and told my mom that if I ever heard that lady's high-pitched squeeky condecending little voice again I was going to do something violent.

Then there was a period of anti-shrink. But the death threat apparently didn't convice my mother that I didn't need a shrink. I wonder why...

Seriously, all this was about their divorce? Please. -I- saw it coming before she did. The day we moved out, she's trying to be all nice and explain to me why we were leaving, waiting for me to ask a question like "But what about daddy?" HELL NO! "Are we taking the dog?" That's what I asked. And that didn't clue them in that I was OK with this?! Jeez. So... then comes shrink number 2. She was almost worse in some ways.

You know what I played with her? Keep in mind that I'm nearly thirteen by this point. We played "Hide the Little Plastic Indian". This lady HAD to've been on meth or something, I mean give me a BREAK! I suppose she thought that she could determine a lot about my by how fast I found them when she hid them and where I hid them for her. After WEEKS of this (WEEKS), I finally got fed up and took her favorite Indian, the yellow chief, and found a REALLY good hiding place. She didn't find him until the smell of burning plastic hit her. It actually took quite a while for that sucker to melt down, even on a lightbulb that had been on for eight hours.

We played Uno after that.

I think she stopped trying to figure me out.

I didn't see her for too much longer.

The last guy was more for my school "problems". It's not that I'm dumb, I just got bored with homework. So I didn't do it. And my senior year of high school, my father decided that this meant I was broken and took me to ANOTHER doctor to try and get me fixed. This guy was actually ok. He gave me lots of little tests where I had to fill in the bubble next to my appropriate feeling which I naturally lied on. But he decided, nonetheless, that I had ADHD. And I got happy pills. That made me sick. So I stopped taking them after a few months, but I never told anyone. And my parents were all "Oh, see? You're doing so much better!" Ummm... bullshit. Oh, and I told Dr. Cho, I believe his name was, about my trouble sleeping, but INSOMNIA didn't seem to ring any problem bells.

This entry has turned out a bit more bitter than I anticipated. I know why that is. But I'm not going to say. Jealousy is a fickle and dirty-minded mistress.
Ta for now!

(Why, Piggy?! WHY!!! I LOVEDED YOOOU!)

My Faith is Humanity - An Open Letter

Dear Humanity,

YOU SUCK!

I've just read a story in the news about how this cute little old lady who worked as a Sunday School teach for fifty four years was fired because she has a va-jay-jay. Yes, that's right. In the year 2006, some nice lady was fired because the church she was working in adopted a literal translation of the bible and in the bible it says that women should be silent and not have any power over men. So she was fired because she's supposed to shut her mouth and not be able to teach men. This upset the poor, cute little old lady. I'm sure the poor, cute little old lady cried. Now, I'm not even going to get INTO the fact that I think the bible is a work of FICTION, because if I did, I would most certainly petition for a change in the legal system to adapt that of my favorite novel. And then you people with a penis better look the fuck out because, thank you Melanie Rawn, in that society, it's MEN who're supposed to shut the hell up.

Anyway, my Faith in Humanity meter being at a fairly high level this morning, I pop over to the "post about this" part of the story, expecting to see scrolls of posts about how horrible wrong this is and how this idiot of a reverend has tried to throw us back five hundred years, but NO. Most of the posts are all "You GO, Reverend" and "He's right. I wish more people had the courage to stand up like he did." And some of these posts were made by WOMEN! Hell-o! What the hell are you doing posting, you va-jay-jays?! You're supposed to be SILENT, remember? Idiots. All these people talking about how the BIBLE says it, so it must be right and we should all follow exactly what the BIBLE has to say. Ok, fine. Who's up for a public stoning of the cute, little old lady? Maybe you should think about things like this the next time you have your dick in some dime-store hooker who you pay extra to call you "Big Daddy". Uh uh uh! That's one of the Ten Commandments! (I was raised a little Jew girl, so I know these things, even though you think my soul is eternally damned or whatever. PS, now I'm Pagan. Once you're finished stoning the cute, little old lady, bring the bloody rocks over to my house and we'll have a party. I'll make the cake. No, I promise there's nothing wrong with it! Your body can digest arsenic, right?)

So now my faith in humanity has dropped to the "YOU SUCK" level. Thanks alot, guys. No, no, it's ok. Follow the bible "to the letter" now and we women won't talk or teach or do much of anything, BUT (and here's a really big BUT) you have to stop fighting your little wars in Jesus's name of for Jesus because, as far as I recall from reading the Bible, Jesus wanted you to love your neighbor and enemies and all that. Not blow them up. You do that and me and my va-jay-jay won't utter another word. Deal?

-Me

For some reason, today has just not been my day. First of all, I've done something crappy to my hip and it hurts to walk. I tried doing a little bit of writing on a novel that I've started, wrote about half a page and already found myself written into a corner. This does not bode well for the next two years. Maybe I should just try working on one of my fluffy romances or this teen fantasy novel I have in mind. I was planning on using that for NaNoWriMo, though. But that's not until November. I'll work out my characters, I guess. You can do that early.

The jackhammers that start at 10am every day are totally ruining my zen. I really should have taken Tristan up on his offer to go sleep over there, but it was already one thirty when he offered. So now it's twenty to three (twenty to six for all of you east coasters) and I really should be asleep, but I am just not feeling it.

In other news, I had my first tun-in with the horrid LA traffic the other day. I went to the Ikea and Target that are about eighteen miles away. Now, had this been Burlington, that eighteen miles would have taken me twenty minutes. Even in Pittsburgh it wouldn't have been too much longer. HERE is took me over TWO HOURS to get home. What the fuck. For part of that time I was on the phone with Liz and was freaking out. People get nasty in bad traffic and I am not used to driving under those kinds of conditions.

And the people in the apt above me are having loud, hard sex again.

I want to be having loud, hard sex. Sigh.

Anyway, for most of the day today I've just felt really depressed. I dunno, maybe I'm finally catching up on being homesick. I really miss Pittsburgh and all of my friends. For that matter, I really miss Burlington, too. My classes start next week. And I'll be home at the end of September for the high holidays. Mum's making me go to services, but only the last one on the last day. I can handle that if it means being home Friday-Tuesday. (My classes are only Tues-Thurs) Anyway, that's really it from me. Ta for now.
-H

Skin Against Skin - DJ Krush

The sun moves high above
Watching below all that moves so fast
Plus taking on a different game
A future that was built to last
I see your face light up my screen
You say hello but I can't
Hold you
Does this all feel somewhat surreal
With no limits to what we can do

We're making such big steps
It's got me in a spin
Are we aiming too high
I'm wanting to feel your skin against my skin

Neon lights are everywhere
Lighting up the crowded streets
It brightens up my floating bed
Where I lay myself to sleep
Did you recieve the kiss I sent today
Up on the box in Times Square
How I love the once and yesterday
Before it vanished into thin air

We're making such big steps
It's got me in a spin
Are we aiming too high
I'm wanting to feel your skin against my skin

You're never really here
Is it all a big mistake
My heart is feeling cold
I don't want to fake it

So. Here I am. In California. I haven't really updated in a while, so I thought now would be the time to do it. My parents and I found a very cute little apartment in West Hollywood. I have a one bedroom. It's actually rather nice. We also got the first month free rent and a hundred dollars off every month for ten months because they're remodeling. I was thinking to myself "That'll be fine! What do I care about construction?" That was before, of course, the jackhammers started early this morning. Geh. Jackhammers = BAD
But it IS going to be really pretty when they're done. They're even putting in a waterfall down the back of the elevator shaft, of which I have a lovely view. Courtyard, too. It's going to be all tiled and lovely. Oh, yes. We also have gated acces, underground parking, a fitness center, two pools, and two sauna-type little jacuzzi pools. Lap of luxury. Will all of my Ikea furniture. I'm saving up to buy a digital camera at the end of the month, so I'll take pictures and send them to people.

What else? Haven't found a job. Big surprise there, as I have ZERO experience. We'll see. I'm also, back to where I'm living, within walking distance of the Kodak Theatre, so come Academy Award time, look for me in the crowd, screaming like a banshee. (That is, if I haven't been invited, of course...)

I met a boy, which is nice. His name is Tristan. We've hung out a few times and actually, I'm going over to his place tonight. We're going to walk down to the beach (as close as you can get at night, at any rate). He lives in Venice, about five blocks from the coast. And he has the most adorable kitty EVER. Kitty. Kitty.

Ok, well enough updating for now. I'm going to go to the Grove before the jackhammers drive me to the point of hurting someone or something. Maybe I'll get a fishy. Okies. Ta for now!

So... I haven't really updated in a while, have I? It seems that Livejournal saved an autodraft of the last time I tried to write and it was a rant about how much the Booze Cruise sucked. Because it did. And now it is no more. RIP Booze Cruise. You should have been great, but people are dumb. They jumped off the boat and ruined our fun. ANYWAY.

Then there was happy Europe fun time. Oh, and who called it, by the way? My last entry? About how people should stop being all "There won't be any drama on MY end." and "I don't want ANY drama near ME on this trip." Yeah. I was right. So there. You know why? Because I'm awesome and will one day rule the world from a palace contructed of cake on a platform of white marble that floats around the ocean pulled by a team of dolphins.

Awkward.

And now I'm bored with updating. So, really, all this entry did was say that I'm alive and always right. Not a bad entry, all things considered. Ta for now!

Jesus Christ, people. All I keep hearing from ALL of you about this Eurotheatre trip is "I don't want drama" "I'm not going to have any drama" BLAH BLAH FEKKING BLAH. You know what? We're bloody DRAMA KIDS! There's going to be drama. It's going to happen. YOU might even start it or add to it. But you're probably ALL going to bitch about it.

I've been on plenty of trips with many different groups of people. All of these trips have been fantastically fun. All of these trips have involved drama of some kind. All of these trips have been with people alot more sane than all of us. But you know what? I remember that the drama we had was pretty intense. But that's all I remember about it. It didn't ruin the trip because the people I was with realized that SHIT HAPPENS. Some of us are probably going to get into a fight. It's inevitable. The BAD things will happen if the rest of us start choosing sides and making it worse. Because fights happen and then they go away. That's not what we're going to remember, TRUST ME, unless someone does something really REALLY stupid. Which, all things considered, will probably be me. But more in the falling down stupid as opposed to the ripping someone's balls off stupid.

So mostly, all I want to say is fekking deal with it. There's going to be drama. Just let it happen, move past it, and everything will be fine. Stop fooling yourself that we're going to have a perfectly happy and carefree couple of weeks. I'll see you all in a week. I'm really looking forward to it. That is my rant.
Ta for now.

AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHH!

Last day of classes EVER!

At UVM...

I'm kind of dreading leaving. Once this day is over and exams stars, people just start vanishing. They go home when their exams are done, and that might be the last time I see them EVER, or at least for a loooooong time. As I've said in an earlier entry, I love everyone up here and I'm goin gto miss them so much. Not to mention the fact that I'm going to have to start the whole friend thing over again in Cali, which is so tedious. At least it'll be warm. And honestly? I'm being totally serious here. What in the WORLD am I going to do without Kate? I mean... we've become so much a part of each other's lives and we're goin gto be living on different sides of the country! At least it'll be warm. I already said that.

Ok. Just gonna thing about today. Two classes. Naked Bike Ride. Party to end ALL parties.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Rising - Brad Yoder

After all the noise, there's an empty space,
That's the sweetest music that you'll ever make.
Take away the choices, there's a quiet place,
Thats the only home I've ever found along the way.

So don't mind me, I'm just blowin' steam.
I've got this worn out dream, my little hill of beans.
Don't mind me if I'm on your floor, I've been down before,
But you will see me rising...

There's a cardboard lady at the liquor store,
And she says try some, she says buy some, boy, what you waiting for?
But you won't find happy between the gin and schnapps,
And the velvet dress and all the rest are only props.

So don't mind me, I'm just blowin' steam.
I've got this worn out dream, my little hill of beans.
Don't mind me if I'm on your floor, I've been down before,
But you will see me rising...

The roadside flower guy adjusts his wares,
A cigarette between his lips, another one behind his ear.
But no one's buying his bouquets today,
'Cause any minute now, you know it's gonna rain, rain, rain.

So don't mind me, I'm just blowin' steam.
I've got this worn out dream, my little hill of beans.
Don't mind me if I'm on your floor, I've been down before,
But you will see me rising...